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Maybe this Month

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This piece is possibly one of the most personal things I have done. It comes from my years experiencing the monthly niddah rituals, checking and preparing to go to the mikveh, while also experiencing fertility problems. The monthly cycle being one of disappointment (sometimes despair), a private grief, and then as it approaches the time of immersion, a week of quietly building hope. Maybe this month it will work, maybe this month I will get pregnant, maybe this month, maybe…. The different ways of writing the text ‘maybe this month’ relate to different emotional states that the monthly hope ‘maybe…’ is whispered. It is embroidered in white on 15 white niddah examination cloths, but sewn together in red.

For other women, the monthly preparations for the mikveh perhaps contain other hopes and dreams, other things that maybe this month things will be…. this has been my process during the niddah cycle. A cycle that has taught me about my body, and made me aware of the passing of time and the emotional roller-coaster of family life.

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For more of Jacqueline Nicholl’s work, go to http://www.jacquelinenicholls.com/