One Woman's Quest for Holy Chutzpah. Dude.

May 24, 2013

“I’m standing on the shoulders of hilarious giants full of chutzpah,” self-described comedienne, director, and writer Jessie Kahnweiler tells Zeek about her new web-based miniseries, “Dude, Where’s My Chutzpah?” The series, which launched May 23 on YouTube and will roll out new episodes on Thursdays at 10 am PST, is part personal journey, part self-deprecating satire.

The charismatic Kahnweiler takes center stage, embodying the rube as a cheeky device for smashing stereotypes while exploring what it means to proactively pursue a Jewish identity. It’s also funny and endearing, from the opening scene where Kahnweiler cracks nervous jokes at her bubbe’s funeral to the first time she meets her rabbi-guide, wheeling up to the synagogue on her bike wearing a knobbly-hatted pickle costume (tagline: “Eat me. I’m kosher”). Starting in October 2011, Jessie began creating this project as part of her two-year stint as a Six Points fellow, filming the first six episodes in LA and the final six in Israel. She took time out of her launch celebration yesterday to answer some questions for Zeek.

Zeek: Ready, set, tell us your spiel about “Dude, Where’s my Chutzpah?”

Jessie: Well, about two years ago my bubbe passed away, and she left me a huge sum of money, but I could only cash in if I could prove to her rabbi that I could “live Jewish” for one year. Of course I freaked out because, like most Jews my age, the only thing I knew about being Jewish was eating bagels and having thick leg hair. Thus my insane quest to do Judaism my way, aka “Dude, Where’s my Chutzpah?” was born. Needless to say, it’s been a crazy two years.

We’re all trying to find the best version of ourselves, and by giving me this mission, my bubbe was trying to help me find my soul potential. It’s been one hell of a ride, and I can’t wait to keep going.

Zeek: You’re the creator and series star, the writer and director. You’re a seeker and a comedian. How do you balance what’s tongue in cheek with what’s earnest, and what’s scripted with a more authentic or personal reaction?

Jessie: For me it’s all coming from a natural/authentic place because the journey was so personal. I was treading in such unfamiliar territory I had to just give up any sense of what the finished product was going to be, which is maddening because I knew I had to deliver a finished product at the end of the two years. Insert corny moment: making art is like falling in love, the second you try to define/label it, it turns to sh-t. So I just tried to give into the process, get dirty, make an ass of myself, and know that something greater than me was piecing it all together.

As far as the comedy factor, I’m never going for the joke. I am 100% genuine in my curiosity about learning (trying to learn) about what it means to be Jewish. Of course comedic moments rise from it because any kind of struggle has comedic moments to it, but I’m not trying to make you laugh. Honestly, life is funny enough without the punch lines. During production I was constantly channeling the rich history we as Jews have at poking fun at ourselves, finding the absurdity in the human condition and most of all laughing through the tears. I’m so proud to come from this culture that supports my desire to seek, question, challenge. I’m standing on the shoulders of hilarious giants full of chutzpah.

Zeek: Who’s your audience for the series? What do you hope they’ll take away? Deeper understanding?

Jessie: This series is for anyone who’s ever needed to get lost in order to find themselves. I know, major barf cheesy, but for serious: before I went on this quest to find my Judaism I was doing just fine, drinking $8 lattes and waiting in my Prius for my dream life to start. This journey has shown me that being a Jew means asking questions that have no answers, getting dirty, falling on your ass and jumping up to beg for more. I’m a Jewish Sephardic girl so I’ve always had chest hair, but this journey definitely made me grow a few more. I always thought Judaism was, like, my grandma’s thing, but this project has forced me to look at Judaism in a whole new light: it’s radical, and liberal, and spiritual, and even sexy.

Zeek: You began this project as a Six Points Fellow. What’s it meant (personally or for your work) to belong to a cohort of artists engaging creatively with Judaism?

Jessie: When I was studying abroad in Vietnam (mostly so I could say to people, “When i was in ‘nam…”), they had this saying “same same but different.” That’s what our cohort is. It’s like a family when we get together. We yell, argue, fight over the last piece of pizza… but most of all we are real with each other. I’m used to being alone with my scripts and my plants, so it was satisfying to have all this support and perspective from people whose work I admire and who have a much better vocabulary than me. As I said we all come from such various backgrounds and all have such different definitions of what it means to “creatively engage with Judaism” and our work kinda proves how rich the Judaism canvas can be – if you just let it.

Zeek: How has your own Jewish identity or understanding of Jewish identity morphed?

Jessie: It’s always morphing. That’s what I love about it. But the biggest thing would probably be that I always looked at being Jewish as something that comes from the outside in, but it is the opposite, it all starts with your inner spark, your holy chutzpah. As long as I’m channeling that, I know I’m headed in the right direction. Oh, and I’m embracing my JewFro all the way!

Zeek: What was the most ridiculous/funniest experience you had while making the series?

Jessie: Ah! So many good ones! A huge one from shooting would have to be getting tear gassed at the wall in Bi’lin and continuing to shoot and throwing up on-camera! Dressing up like Orthodox boy and walking thru the Old City and the looks I got and the looks I gave right back. Also, when I was in LA doing research, I would go to the Orthodox community a lot for Shabbes, etc. I would always keep the modest clothes in my truck, because it gets so hot in LA. I have all these memories of changing into this different person and being allowed in these homes – I was” pretending” for the movie, but every inch of it was real.

Zeek: If you see yourself as part of a long tradition of Jewish comedians, where do you think you stand on the controversial spectrum with respect to, say, Lenny Bruce or Sarah Silverman? You’re bound to get some flack for mocking or stereotyping. Are you doing it lovingly? Does being able to turn something upside down as a comic allow you to get closer and be more open to it? Has it been transformative?

Jessie: I would say comedy is the quickest way for me to tap into my own vulnerability. I use it more as the vehicle to get to where I’m going. Anything offensive that I may do is rooted in a deep curiosity to understand. You’re not going to find me in a bikini in the Old City… I mean have you seen what those cameras do to you legs? :)

Zeek: Has your identity as an American Jew been impacted by your experiences filming in Israel?

Jessie: Yes!!! I went to Israel thinking, “Why the hell should I care about Israel? Israel doesn’t care about me,” so my quest in Israel was not to form a solid political opinion or have a spiritual awakening but, moreso, to feel something towards it beyond how everyone is telling me to feel.

Zeek: Who’s your audience for the series? What do you hope they’ll take away? Deeper understanding?

Who’s on the team that made this?

Jessie: I have an amazing crew I work with who are just a bunch of brilliant menschs. My LA team consists of longtime DP Kristina M. Schulte-Eversum, editor Alex Mackenzie, and producer Ryan Lacen. Because it was my first time acting along with writing/directing, I really leaned on my crew to help me keep the tone/look. I worship the g-d of collaboration, and I just couldn’t do it without those guys. I mean I could, but it wouldn’t be any fun! For Israel, I hired two crazy Israeli dudes who ran around the Holy land with me for a month: amazing producer Tsafrir Or and mega-famous Israel DP Addie Reiss. It was shot much more documentary on-the-fly style, which is why everything feels so natural, I hope. They were really interested in the story because my goal was to experience the “authentic Israel,” so we had fun figuring out what the fuck that means… We got tear-gassed, got chased out of the Kotel, dancing on the beach till dawn and, of course, ate lots of hummus.

Zeek: So, have you found your chutzpah?

Jessie: You have to watch the show to find out, dude! But I will say, I don’t think anyone can ever have too much chutzpah.

Zeek: What’s next?

Jessie: Getting ready for the sort of sequel called “White Noise”.

One Woman's Quest for Holy Chutzpah. Dude.

Erica Brody

Media and Tech